Joke Topic - 'Band'

The most sadistic Christmas present I ever heard of was a down-payment on a Rolls-Royce. (think about it)

Marriage is like a bath tub....once you are in it for awhile it's not so hot.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Adair.
Adair who?
Adair you to open this door.

What do you call a crazy spaceman?
An astronut.

"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?"

What's that up the road? A head?

Did you hear about the ghost who works at Scotland Yard?
He's the Chief in-spectre.

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitis.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nova.
Nova who?
Nova look back.