Joke Topic - 'Bad Advice'

What do you get if you cross a traffic warden with a dog?
A barking ticket.

Why can't a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.

Reincarnation is making a comeback

Yo' mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the cops she got mugged!

What kind of bulbs should you never water?
Light bulbs.

And which really horrible Mother Superior went all over Europe beating people up?
Attila the Nun.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mickey.
Mickey who?
Mickey won't work, so please open the door for me!

Who has large antlers, has a high voice and always wears white gloves?
Mickey Moose.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs.
Doctor: I know we had to cut off your arms.