Joke Topic - 'Backwards'

What always becomes more difficult to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.

What did the vampire say when he called the blood bank?
Do you do home deliveries?

What has webbed feet and fangs?
Count Quackula.

What do you give someone who has everything?
A burglar alarm.

"We offer a competitive salary"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Scotsmen don't change light bulbs, it's cheaper to sit in the dark.

What do you get if you cross an American pioneer with an English batting game?
Davy Cricket.

I wanted to be a dentist, but I didn't have enough pull.

Why is Santa looking for a new job?
Because he got the sack.