Doctors
Doctor: How did you get here so quickly?
Patient: Flu.
Elephants
My uncle said, 'I've got this elephant that Won't talk to me.'
The vet said, 'What's his name?'
My uncle said, 'He won't even tell me that.'
Airplanes
What is red and green and jumps out of airplanes?
A parrot-trooper.
Christmas
Never mind the star - get those camels off my lawn!
Leave
I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
Dalmatians
Why are Dalmatians no good at playing hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.
Sheep
Where do sheep buy their Christmas presents?
They go to Wool-mart!
Pets
What kind of pets like to lay around the house all day?
Car-pets!
Watches
Joe: He must be in the watch business.
Bill: Whatever gave you that idea?
Joe: Whenever I work. he watches.