Mother: Oh dear, I can hear your baby brother crying. I guess that he needs changing.
Lucy: Well if you're going to change him, can you change him for a puppy?
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Maths
Primary maths pupil's answer to question, `take 9 from 246 as many times as possible': `I did it fifty times and I always got 237.'
Salesman
Why was the clock salesman bored?
He had too much time on his hands.
Chimps
What happens if a chimp falls and twists his ankle?
He gets a monkey wrench.
Golf
What are the three worst words you can hear while playing a round of golf?
"Still your turn"!
Marriage
Wife: Why did you come came home at 4 am this morning?
Husband: Where else you can go to at 4 in the morning in this town?
Vampires
What kind of test does a Vampire take when he is in school?
A blood test.
The Truth
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
July.
July who?
July or do you tell the truth?
Dogs
What breed of dog gets on everyone's nerves?
A great pane.
Cafeteria
Bacteria: The rear portion of the cafeteria!