Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - B / Joke Topic - Babies - 1

Joke Topic - 'Babies'

Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Babies'.

How do you get a baby astronaut to go to sleep?
You rocket.

Mother: Oh dear, I can hear your baby brother crying. I guess that he needs changing.
Lucy: Well, if you're going to change him, can you change him for a puppy?

This woman and her husband came out of the supermarket. She said, 'I'll put the shopping in the car, and you get the baby.' The husband said, 'Alright.' And off he went. A few minutes later, he was back in the car.
The woman said, 'Hey, that's not our baby.' The man said, 'Shut up, it's a better pram.'

What do baby outlaws like eating with their milk?
Crookies.

Why is an old car like a baby?
Because it always has a rattle.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

Tourists

Why is it called the tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Horses

Did you hear about the horse who became depressed?
He started telling tales of whoa.

Hair

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hair.
Hair who?
Hair today and gone tomorrow.

Teachers

Teacher: What is the name given to the small rivers that flow into the river Nile?
William: The Juve-Niles?

Doctors

Doctor, doctor, I keep losing my memory.
When did you first notice it?
When did I first notice what?

Cows

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

Blondes

Why did the blonde get on the roof?
She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Teddy Bears

What do you call a poster advertising the last teddy for sale?
A one ted poster.

Bees

Diner: Waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Waiter: Of course, there is, sir, it's alphabet soup.