Joke Topic - 'Automation'

You know you're having a bad day when you realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-pong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Elly.
Elly who?
Ellymentary, my dear Watson.

What breed of dog does a chemistry teacher have?
A laboratory retriever.

The cannibal came home to find his wife chopping up snakes and a very small man.
"Oh no!" he groaned. "Not snake and pygmy pie again."

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bee.
Buzz off. Can't you see that I'm busy?

How can you tell if an elephant been in the refrigerator?
By the footprints in the butter.

My uncle said, 'I've got this woodpecker with no beak. What shall I call him?'
I said, 'A headbanger.

Which are the scariest prehistoric creatures?
Terror dactyls.