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Joke Topic - 'Attorneys' - 2 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
A farmer walked into a lawyer's office wanting to file for a divorce. The lawyer asked, 'May I help you?'
The farmer said, 'Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.'
The lawyer said, 'Well, do you have any grounds?'
The farmer said, 'Yea, I got about 140 acres.' The lawyer said, 'No, you don't understand, do you have a case?'
The farmer said, 'No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere.'
The attorney said, 'No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?'
The farmer said, 'Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere tractor.'
The lawyer said, 'No sir, I mean do you have a suit?'
The farmer said, 'Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.'
The exasperated lawyer said, 'Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?'
The farmer said, 'No sir, we both get up about 4:30.'
Finally, the lawyer says, 'Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?'
And the farmer says, 'Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.'
5>The farmer said, 'Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.'
The lawyer said, 'Well, do you have any grounds?'
The farmer said, 'Yea, I got about 140 acres.' The lawyer said, 'No, you don't understand, do you have a case?'
The farmer said, 'No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere.'
The attorney said, 'No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?'
The farmer said, 'Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere tractor.'
The lawyer said, 'No sir, I mean do you have a suit?'
The farmer said, 'Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.'
The exasperated lawyer said, 'Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?'
The farmer said, 'No sir, we both get up about 4:30.'
Finally, the lawyer says, 'Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?'
And the farmer says, 'Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.'
Years ago, a long-standing customer of the business was accused of robbery, and a junior partner in the legal office was dispatched to defend him in a distant state. The client was found not guilty and discharged following several days of trial. The lawyer, full of excitement at his win, telegraphed the firm, saying, 'Justice prevailed.'
The senior partner replied in haste: 'Appeal immediately.'
3>The senior partner replied in haste: 'Appeal immediately.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Crab
Why was the crab sent to jail?
Because he kept pinching things.
2>Because he kept pinching things.
Frogs
What do you call a frog who works as a spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
2>A croak and dagger agent.
Robbery
What do you get if you cross a thief with an orchestra?
Robbery with violins.
2>Robbery with violins.
Dracula
Did you hear about the man who kept thinking he was Dracula?
He was a right pain in the neck.
2>He was a right pain in the neck.
Policemen
Policeman: 'When I saw you coming round that bend, I thought, 'Forty-five at least.''
Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'
2>Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'
Mistakes
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
2>Teachers
Did you hear about the school teacher who married a dairymaid?
It didn't last. They were like chalk and cheese.
2>It didn't last. They were like chalk and cheese.
Snow
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow good asking me
2>Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow good asking me
Divorce
We decided to get married on Friday the 13th. If things don't work out, at least we'll have something to blame the divorce on.
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