A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
Many years ago, a junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Sharpest
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Fly
What do you get if you cross a fly with a detective?
A police insector.
Pizza
Did you hear the joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Doctors
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sara.
Sara who?
Sara doctor in the house?
Marriage
My brother said to this girl, 'Would you like my hand in marriage?'
The girl said, 'Alright, but who's getting the rest of you?'
Pirates
Where does Blackbeard the Pirate hide his treasure chest?
Underneath his treasure shirt.
Hippies
What's the wife of a hippie called?
Mississippi.
License
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Penny
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Penny!
Penny Who?
Penny For your thoughts!