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Joke Topic - 'Attorney'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Attorney'.

Related Topics: Lawyers (92) Law (6) Judges (14)
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A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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Many years ago, a junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Politicians

Remember: The politicians who promise pie-in-the-sky are planning to use your dough for it.
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Women Drivers

My wife is a careful driver, she always slows down when going through a red light.
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Window Shopping

George: I went window shopping this morning.
Dave: Did you get anything?
George: Yes. I bought four windows.
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Tougher

State Legislators Want Tougher Death Penalty
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Pigeons

Did you hear about the pigeon who wanted to buy a famous London landmark?
He put a deposit on Big Ben.
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Office

In any office you can always tell who the boss is. He's the one who watches the clock during your coffee break.
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Santa

Why did Santa get a parking ticket?
He parked in a snow parking zone.
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Snore

Why is it the loudest snorer is always the first one to get to sleep?
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Farmers

Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.

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