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Joke Topic - 'Attorney'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Attorney'.

Related Topics: Lawyers (92) Law (6) Judges (14)
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A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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Many years ago, a junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Hands

What has two hands, but no fingers?
A Clock.
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Ghosts

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
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Even

How do you make seven even?
You remove the 's'.
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Lorry

What do you call a lorry that is full of feet?
A toe truck.
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Polish

David: What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Billy: Polish them.
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Talking

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm really interested.
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Computer Dating

"I'm all for computer dating, but I wouldn't want one to marry my sister."
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Black And White

What is black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
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Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Waiter.
Waiter who?
Waiter round and you'll find out.

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