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Joke Topic - 'Attorney'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Attorney'.

Related Topics: Lawyers (92) Law (6) Judges (14)
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A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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Many years ago, a junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Sharpest

He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
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Fly

What do you get if you cross a fly with a detective?
A police insector.
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Pizza

Did you hear the joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
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Doctors

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sara.
Sara who?
Sara doctor in the house?
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Marriage

My brother said to this girl, 'Would you like my hand in marriage?'
The girl said, 'Alright, but who's getting the rest of you?'
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Pirates

Where does Blackbeard the Pirate hide his treasure chest?
Underneath his treasure shirt.
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Hippies

What's the wife of a hippie called?
Mississippi.
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License

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
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Penny

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Penny!
Penny Who?
Penny For your thoughts!

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