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Joke Topic - 'Attorney'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Attorney'.

Related Topics: Lawyers (92) Law (6) Judges (14)
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A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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Many years ago, a junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Computers

"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
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Girlfriends

I call my girlfriend "Sugar" because she is so refined.
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Batman

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I'm always talking about Batman.
What a joker she is.
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Violin

What did the violin say to the harp?
May I string along with you?
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Cookies

Why did the cookie visit a doctor?
Because he felt crummy.
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Teenagers

The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.
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Listened

Joe: Oh, I wish I'd listened to my mother!
Will: Why? What did she tell you?
Joe: I don't know! I didn't listen!
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Banana

Why did the banana cross the road?
It was a slip road.
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Well Off

Wife: Before we were married, you told me you were well off.
Husband: I was, but I didn't realize just how how well off I was.

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