Ghosts
What do short-sighted ghosts wear?
Spooktacles.
Teachers
Teacher: What is the name given to the small rivers that flow into the river Nile?
William: The Juve-Niles?
Ghosts
Why wasn't the ghost successful?
Because he didn't believe in himself!
Blondes
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Doctors
Doctor: How did you get here so quickly?
Patient: Flu.
Poets
Did you hear about the idiot who wanted to become a poet?
He went to the Post Office to buy a poetic license.
Professors
Old Chemistry professors never die; they just smell that way!
Water
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita drink of water.
Christmas
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.