Mice
What do you get if you cross a mouse with an oil can?
A squeak that oils itself.
Girlfriends
John: My girlfriend reminds me of a Greek statue.
Dave: You mean she's very beautiful?
John: Yeah, beautiful, but not all there.
Ducks
Did you hear that the price of duck feathers has risen?
So now even down is up.
Christmas
Never mind the star - get those camels off my lawn!
Farmers
Why did the farmer feed sugar and vinegar to his pigs?
He wanted sweet and sour pork.
Dentists
What did the dentist see when he visited the North Pole?
A molar bear.
Politics
The politician's campaign speech was praised by a voter, who said: I admire the straightforward way you dodged all the issues.
Ghosts
What do ghosts like to dance to?
Soul music.
Voters
Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide