Joke Topic - 'An Old Banger'

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn't know about yet.

What has a head and a tail but no body?
A coin.

And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

You should laugh at your problems everyone else does.

Why do rabbits have shiny noses?
Because their powder puffs are at the wrong end!

My mum said, 'Doctor, give me something for my kidneys.'
The doctor said, 'How about a few rashers of bacon?'

The kindest thing I can say about my wife is that her in-laws are a lot nicer than mine.

What do you get if you cross a pig with a hedgehog?
A porkupine.