The MacTavish brothers decided that one of their number would go to America and make his fortune, coming back to share with
the rest of them. The youngest, Ian, was chosen for this task. Off he went, and he worked hard in America, and earned himself
a fortune over a few years, and wired his brothers that he'd be returning with it.
When he came back to Scotland he got off the boat, and looked around for his brothers, but could not see anyone who looked familiar. Finally, a group of bearded
strangers approached. "Ho, Ian, are ye not knowing yer own brothers?" asked the first
one. Then Ian realized his brothers had grown beards.
"Fer heaven's sake, laddies, what would ye be growin' them beards for, now?" he asked.
"We had to, lad, ye took the razor wi' ye!"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Mistakes
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes.
You're bound to learn a lot today.
Girlfriends
John: My girlfriend reminds me of a Greek statue.
Dave: You mean she's very beautiful?
John: Yeah, beautiful, but not all there.
Less
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Maura.
Maura who?
Maura less.
Ants
Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all of his uncles were ants.
Nurses
What do you call a butterfingered nurse?
A medicine dropper.
Spell
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether.
Tourists
What do you get if you cross a tourist and an elephant?
Something that carries it's own trunk.
Pigs
Joe: My pig has lost his voice.
Jake: Really. I bet he is upset?
Joe: Oh yeah, he's disgruntled!
Schizophrenia
You're never alone with schizophrenia