Elephants
What should you do if you see a blue elephant?
Try to cheer it up.
Football
What do they use to serve lunch to football players?
The Souper Bowl.
Water
What can run all day and never get tired?
Water.
Elves
What did the elf use to make him taller?
He used elf-raising flour.
Girlfriends
GILLIE: Will I lose my looks as I get older?
WILLIE: With luck, yes.
Cats
What do you call a cat that tells jokes?
A witty kitty.
Christmas
Why did the Christmas cookie visit the doctor?
He felt crummy.
Airplanes
Nervous Passenger: How often do planes of this type crash?
Captain: Only once, Madam.
Farmers
Why did the farmer ask the vet to examine his cow?
Because she was so mooo-dy.