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Joke Topic - 'Airplanes' - 12 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 12 jokes on the topic - 'Airplanes'.
A flight attendant approached a blonde passenger in first class on a flight to New York and politely asked her to transfer to economy as she did not have a first-class ticket. The blonde responded, "I'm not moving. I'm going to New York. I'm blonde and beautiful."
The flight attendant wanted to avoid arguing with a passenger, so she asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He approached the woman and politely requested that she vacate the first-class area.
The blonde repeated herself, saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." Once back in the cockpit, the co-pilot sought the captain's advice.
'I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to deal with this,' declared the captain. He approached the blonde in the first-class section and whispered in her ear. Ignoring herself, she leaped to her feet. She hurried to the economic section, asking herself, 'Why didn't someone just say so?'
The flight attendant and the co-pilot were taken aback, curious about what he had said to her that had finally persuaded her to change seats.
He said, 'I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.'
The flight attendant wanted to avoid arguing with a passenger, so she asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He approached the woman and politely requested that she vacate the first-class area.
The blonde repeated herself, saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." Once back in the cockpit, the co-pilot sought the captain's advice.
'I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to deal with this,' declared the captain. He approached the blonde in the first-class section and whispered in her ear. Ignoring herself, she leaped to her feet. She hurried to the economic section, asking herself, 'Why didn't someone just say so?'
The flight attendant and the co-pilot were taken aback, curious about what he had said to her that had finally persuaded her to change seats.
He said, 'I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.'
Every year, Fred and his wife Edna would eagerly make their way to the state fair. Every year, Fred would excitedly tell Edna, "Hey Edna, I really want to go for a ride in that airplane!" She would tell Fred every year, "I know Fred, but that plane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
When Fred and Edna went to the fair last year, Fred said, 'Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride the plane this year, I might never get another chance. 'Fred, the cost of that airplane ride is ten dollars,' Edna said. 'And ten dollars is ten dollars.'
The pilot heard them and said, "Hey, I'll make you a deal." I will give you both a ride. If you can remain silent throughout the ride and not say anything, I will not charge you; however, if you say anything, you will be charged ten bucks.
Fred and Edna agreed, and up they went. The pilot performs a variety of twists and turns, rolls and dives, yet not a single sound is uttered. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land, and the pilot turns to Fred, 'By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't.'
Fred replied, 'Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars.'
When Fred and Edna went to the fair last year, Fred said, 'Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride the plane this year, I might never get another chance. 'Fred, the cost of that airplane ride is ten dollars,' Edna said. 'And ten dollars is ten dollars.'
The pilot heard them and said, "Hey, I'll make you a deal." I will give you both a ride. If you can remain silent throughout the ride and not say anything, I will not charge you; however, if you say anything, you will be charged ten bucks.
Fred and Edna agreed, and up they went. The pilot performs a variety of twists and turns, rolls and dives, yet not a single sound is uttered. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land, and the pilot turns to Fred, 'By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't.'
Fred replied, 'Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars.'
If tires hold up cars, what holds up airplanes?
Hijackers.
Hijackers.
Nervous Passenger: How often do planes of this type crash?
Captain: Only once, Madam.
Captain: Only once, Madam.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Plane Crash, Expert Says
The pilot of a small private plane ran out of fuel and decided to put it down on a road. He managed to coast into a gas station and said to the attendant, 'Fill 'er up!'
The attendant just looked at the pilot.
'Bet you don't get too many airplanes asking for fuel,' said the pilot.
The attendant replied, 'True, most pilots use the airport just over there.'
The attendant just looked at the pilot.
'Bet you don't get too many airplanes asking for fuel,' said the pilot.
The attendant replied, 'True, most pilots use the airport just over there.'
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a dog?
An animal that likes to chase low-flying aeroplanes.
An animal that likes to chase low-flying aeroplanes.
What do you get if you cross an aeroplane with a Cornish pasty?
Pie in the sky.
Pie in the sky.
What is red and green and jumps out of airplanes?
A parrot-trooper.
A parrot-trooper.
Why wasn't the elephant allowed on the plane?
Because his trunk wouldn't fit under the seat in front of him.
Because his trunk wouldn't fit under the seat in front of him.
You know it's a 'no frills' airline when...
... All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
Before take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash. He says, 'Just once.'
No movie. Didn't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, and he's demanding to be let off the plane.
... All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
Before take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash. He says, 'Just once.'
No movie. Didn't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, and he's demanding to be let off the plane.
You know you're having a bad day when - Airline food starts to taste good.