Joke Topic - 'A Yes Man'

Why does it take so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
No problem

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Diner: Waiter, do you have crepes Suzette?
Waiter: Sorry sir, we don't have any crepes. And my name is George, not Suzette.

This is not an abandoned vehicle

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Waiter, Waiter.
There's a fly in my soup.
Don't worry sir, they don't drink much.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Kisses.
Kisses who?
Kisses your boyfriend here!

George: "Do you know what Dr Williams's specializes in?"
Tom: Yeah, he diagnoses wallets."