Joke Topic - 'A Tail'

What do you get if you cross a rooster with a duck?
An animal that wakes you up at the quack of dawn.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police open the door and let me come in.

'Are you married?'
'No, I've always been round-shouldered.'

What do you call a fat alien?
An extra cholesterol.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir but I have smoked a pipe.

Wife: Why do you always think about golf at bedtime?
Husband: It putts me to sleep.

What do you call a cow who likes to argue with her husband?
A bullfighter.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.