Joke Topic - 'A Padded Cell'

My brother said, 'One of my mates got run over by a car.',br> I said, 'Really, how did he feel?'
My brother said, 'Tyred.'

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

"Hello, I'm not here."

Why did the chicken run away from home?
Because she was tired of being cooped up.

"I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get."

l thought I might become a history teacher when I grew up, but then I realized there was no future in it.

Henry: Darling. will you marry me?
Jane: No. but I will always admire your good taste.

My wife is a magician. She can turn anything into an argument.

My other girlfriend is beautiful