Joke Topic - 'A Lion'

Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Aida.
Aida who?
Aida thirty-two chocolate bars and now I feel terrible.

Where do gnomes go to to get fit?
To an elf farm.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a 10 Dollar note
Well go and buy something then, the change will do you good.

"Hello, this is Dave. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.

Diner: Waiter, bring me a portion of fish a glass of milk.
Waiter: Fillet?
Diner: Yes, right to the top.

How many tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

George: "Do you know what Dr Williams's specializes in?"
Tom: Yeah, he diagnoses wallets."

What do you get if you cross a play by William Shakespeare and some eggs?
Omelette.