"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you
give me a lift?' I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your
oyster, go for it."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Having A Bad Day
You know you're having a bad day when - Your income tax refund check bounces.
Clocks
This bloke said to my brother, 'I think I'm a clock you know.'
My brother said, 'Well don't get wound up about it.'
Dogs
What do you call a dog that works in a library?
A hush-puppy!
Donuts
Why did the donut go to the dentist?
It wanted to get a chocolate filling.
Elephants
What do you call an elephant who isn't important?
An irrelephant.
Politicians
It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies the other half is ruined by the truth!
Job
I like my job it's the work I hate.
Wives
Mr Green: My wife's one in a million.
Mr Brown: Really? I thought she was won in a raffle.
Christmas Party
How did the chickens dance at their Christmas party? Chick to chick.