Joke Topic - 'A Christmas Tree'

A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour.

Clumsiness is catching
- no, dropping

The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.

What time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.

The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.

Did you hear about the man who wouldn't wash until he became a millionaire? He's now filthy rich.

People who live in glass houses always have to answer the doorbell.

What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A zebra.