This woman went to the doctor. She said, 'Doctor, my husband thinks he's a cat.'
The doctor said, 'How do you know that?'
She said, 'Well every night, when I go to bed, there's this horrible howling outside the window.'
The doctor said, 'Yes, but are you sure that that's your husband?'
She said, 'Well a cat wouldn't use language like that.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Humpty Dumpty
Why is it risky to tell funny jokes to Humpty Dumpty?
Because he might crack up.
Marriage
Marriage: The first union to defy management.
Accountants
Tom: What do you do for a living?
Jack: I work with figures.
Tom: You're an accountant?
Jack: No. A fitness instructor.
Telepathy
Legalize telepathy - I knew you were going to say that
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen.
Well sit down and write your name!
Burger King
Yo' mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince!
Cows
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Commentator
Definition of a "commentator" - an average potato.
Pilot
Why did the pilot visit the physiatrist?
Because he was plane crazy.