Joke Topic - 'A Canoe'

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Venice.
Venice who?
Venice lunch going to be ready?

When you take a stand about something, you're just being stubborn.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

Why are Christmas trees not very good at knitting?
Because they are always dropping their needles.

Why was Cinderella get dropped from the football team?
She ran away from the ball.

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?

How many British Rail staff does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to apologize for the delay.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes honey, but why do you want to know?
Baby snake: Well, I just bit my tongue...