My brother was banging his. head on a brick wall. I said, 'What're you doing that for?'
He said, 'Because it's a lovely feeling when I stop.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Psychics
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Crocodiles
What do you call a sick crocodile?
An illigator.
Biscuits
Newlywed Wife: I baked two kinds of biscuits today, dear. Would you like to take your pick?
Husband: No, thanks. I'll just use a hammer.
Getting Old
You know you're getting old when the only gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
Ducks
What are ducks favorite television programs?
Duckumentaries.
Fleas
How do fleas go on vacation?
They itchhike.
Lawyers
Lawyer Says His Client Is Not That Guilty
Your Opinion
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Golf
"How should I have played that last shot?" the bad golfer asked his caddy.
"Under an assumed name."