Joke Topic - 'A Bad Stomach'

What do you call a cow that likes to eat long grass?
A lawn moo-er.

A Truck load of prunes has been stolen. Police are looking for a man on the run.

Wife: Where are you going with your golf clubs?
Husband: To a tee party.

Patient: I think I'm turning into a baby cat.
Doctor: I think your just kitten me.

Dad, there's someone at the door collecting for the old folks home. Shall I give him grandma?

What type of television did the ghost buy?
A wide-scream TV.

Boy to girl: Wow! You look like a million dollars.
Girl: Do you really think so?
Boy: Yes, you're all green and wrinkly.

What song do Liverpool fans sing at Christmas?
"Yule never walk alone."

Boss: William, why aren't you working?
William: Sorry, I didn't see you coming!