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Funny Answering Machine Messages - Page 9


Here are more of our funny, amusing and strange joke answering machine messages.

This is page 9 of 9. Showing jokes 81 to 85

Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
Funny Answering Machine Messages
"Hi. Now you say something."
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.


Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Sponge cake: Dessert made from borrowed ingredients.

Steak

Diner: Waiter, when I ordered this steak, I said 'Well done'.
Waiter: Thank you Sir.

Piano

Do you play your piano by ear?
No, I play it by the open window to annoy my neighbors.

Cows

Q: What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?
A: Decalfinated

Courts

Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

Barman

Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type in here."

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