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Funny Answering Machine Messages - Page 9


Here are more of our funny, amusing and strange joke answering machine messages.

This is page 9 of 9. Showing jokes 81 to 85

Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
Funny Answering Machine Messages
"Hi. Now you say something."
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.


Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Elephants

What are the largest ants in the world?
Elephants.

Slimy

What has ten legs, bulging eyes and is green and slimy?
I don't know.
Neither do I - but there's one crawling up your leg now!

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Abbey.
Abbey who?
Abbey stung me on the nose.

Wedding

Did you hear about the two satellite dishes that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!

Cats

Did you hear about the cat who drank 3 bowls of milk?
He set a new lap record.

Penny

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Penny!
Penny Who?
Penny For your thoughts!

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