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Funny Answering Machine Messages - Page 9


Here are more of our funny, amusing and strange joke answering machine messages.

This is page 9 of 9. Showing jokes 81 to 85

Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
Funny Answering Machine Messages
"Hi. Now you say something."
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Funny Answering Machine Messages
Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.


Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Boss

When you take a stand about something, you're just being stubborn.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

Athletes

If athletes get athletes' foot. what disease do astronauts get?
Missile toe.

Honesty

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Men

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

Crash

NERVOUS PASSENGER: How often do planes of this type crash?
CAPTAIN: Only once, Madam.

Pizza

Did you hear the joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.

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