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Funny Answering Machine Messages - Page 9

Here are more of our funny, amusing and strange joke answering machine messages.

This is page 9 of 9. Showing jokes 81 to 85

Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?

"Hi. Now you say something."

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.

Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Teeth

Did you hear about the singer who went to the dentist?
He gave her falsetto teeth.

Wife

I take my wife out every night, but she always manages to find her way home.

Waiters

Waiter, waiter, there's a small fly in my soup.
I'm sorry, sir. Shall I get you a bigger one?

Dogs

How does a dog stop a DVD player when it gets to his favourite part of a movie?
He presses the paws button.

Doctors

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks that she's a clock.
I suspect you've just been trying wind her up.

Boring

I was going to tell you a joke about an electric drill, but it's too boring.

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