Funny Answering Machine Messages - Page 7

"Hello, I'm not here."

"You know what to do at the tone."

"Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please multiply your number by i and try again.

You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am...

(Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll... Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. Uh... By the way, where did you say you live?

If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our guns right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.