Hello. This is John's answering machine. He isn't here, but I am open to suggestions.
'Hello, is this the person to whom I am speaking?'
'Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by Answering Machines of the Filthy�Rich and Famous!' I'm sorry, but (Your Name Here) is currently unavailable to answer the phone as he is enjoying his time at his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera. Please leave a message, and he will get back to you as soon as possible.
Kemosabe no in tipi now. You leave'um message after the smoke signal, and Kemosabe will get back for pow-wow real fast.
The President is currently not in his office. Kindly provide the name of the country you want to invade, your phone number, your name, and the secret password.
Welcome to the Literacy Self-Test Hotline. Upon hearing the sound, kindly provide your name and contact information, followed by a phrase including the vocabulary word of the day. The word for today is supercilious.
'This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway.' because I'm sick of people ringing the phone at 1 am just so they can hear the clever messages I usually have, and then hanging up without even leaving a 'like your message' message.
Hi, this is Fred. I just stepped outside to get the paper, and the door locked behind me. Luckily, I left the answering machine on. So, while I'm outside, shivering in my underwear, you can leave a message. Then, when the landlord lets me back in, I can get back to you.
'Hello?
Hello?I can't hear you. I guess that's 'cos I'm not at home right now. But if you'll leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you...''You have reached 555-5678, DIAL-A-DEMON. At the sound of the tone you will be possessed.'
'Terribly sorry, but you've reached an answering machine.'
'Hello, I am actually home at the moment, but I really don't feel like listening to whatever your problem is. So, If you leave your name and number at the tone, when I feel like responding to your message, I will.'