Did You Hear? Jokes - Page 1

Did you hear about the idiot who wanted to become a poet?
He went to the Post Office to buy a poetic license.

Did you hear about the millionaire clock and watchmaker who died recently.
They reckon it will take years to wind up his estate.

Did you hear about the crooked mermaid?
She was arrested for starting a crime wave.

Did you hear about the two boa constrictors who recently got married?
They had a crush on each other.

Did you hear about the man who was always arguing?
He liked arguing so much he wouldn't eat anything that agreed with him.

Did you hear about the man who quit his Job as a historian?
He realized there was no future in it.

Did you hear about the blacksmith who was taken to court?
The judge found him guilty of forging.

Did you hear about the man who had a new bath fitted in his house?
The plumber asked him, "Would you like a plug for it?"
The man replied, "Oh, I didn't know it was electric."

Did you hear about the skeleton that was attacked by a dog?
It ran off with some bones and left him without a leg to stand on.

Did you hear about the stupid farmer who made his chickens drink hot water?
He thought they would lay hard-boiled eggs.