Who used to give presents to the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes?
Santa Clues.
Steve: What's your father getting for Christmas?
Dave: Bald and fat.
Fred: What kind of Christmas did you have?
Tom: Oh, the same as last year, thirty minutes eating turkey, mince pies, and Christmas pudding, followed by three days in bed recovering.
I don't care who you are; get those reindeer and that sleigh off my roof.
Father: Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?
Son: No, it was too dark to see him, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toes on the edge of my bed.
Every Christmas, I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then, my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.
If you fear Santa Claus coming down your chimney at Christmas, are you suffering from Santaclaustrophobia?
What do you call a man who claps his hands at Christmas?
Santapplause.
I wouldn't say he is stupid, but he thinks that Christmas Eve is a tug of war-that is held at Christmas.
What do you call somebody who claps their hands when the contestants in a Christmas quiz show get the right answer?
Santapplause.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hector.
Hector who?
'Hector halls with boughs of holly.'
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Raptor.
Raptor who?
Raptor presents before Christmas.