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Christmas Jokes - Page 20 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our Christmas Jokes and Funny Stories to help you see the humorous side of the festive season.
This is page 20 of 22. Showing jokes 229 to 240
What's a hairdresser's favorite Christmas pastime?
Giving the tree a Trim.
Giving the tree a Trim.
Why are advent calendars so sad?
Because their days are clearly numbered.
Because their days are clearly numbered.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and give me my Christmas present!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and give me my Christmas present!
Auntie Jean: Did you like the dictionary I gave you for
Christmas?
Jack: Yes, I've been trying to find the words to thank you.
Jack: Yes, I've been trying to find the words to thank you.
What happens if you're naughty just before Christmas?
Yule be sorry.
Yule be sorry.
"Doctor, I've got a mince pie stuck in my ear."
"Well, I can give you some cream to put on it if you like."
"Well, I can give you some cream to put on it if you like."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Coal.
Coal who?
Coal me if you hear Santa coming down the chimney.
Who's there?
Coal.
Coal who?
Coal me if you hear Santa coming down the chimney.
What did the flock of sheep say to the shepherd?
Season's bleatings.
Season's bleatings.
Never mind about our past — what about my present?
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
A pineapple!
Joe: What would it take to make you kiss me under the mistletoe?
Jenny: An anesthetic.
Jenny: An anesthetic.
What did the pirate say when he was dressed up as Santa Claus?
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum.
Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of rum.