Home / Change a Lightbulb Jokes / Change a Lightbulb Jokes - Page 9
Change a Lightbulb Jokes - Page 9
The classic 'change lightbulbs' jokes
This is page 9 of 13. Showing jokes 81 to 90
How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a light bulb?
Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.
Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.
How many municipal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Seven - two to administer the Civil Service examination for the Light Bulb Administrator position, the Commissioner of Public Works, who ends up hiring his brother for the position anyway, one to plow the mayor's driveway, a Summer Youth student to actually screw it in, and a Union steward to protest that its the electrician's job to screw in light bulbs.
Seven - two to administer the Civil Service examination for the Light Bulb Administrator position, the Commissioner of Public Works, who ends up hiring his brother for the position anyway, one to plow the mayor's driveway, a Summer Youth student to actually screw it in, and a Union steward to protest that its the electrician's job to screw in light bulbs.
How many city planners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Six - four to write an extensive study recommending a three-way 100/200/250 watt light bulb, one to write an article in the newspaper praising the study, and one to put in a 10 watt bulb instead.
Six - four to write an extensive study recommending a three-way 100/200/250 watt light bulb, one to write an article in the newspaper praising the study, and one to put in a 10 watt bulb instead.
How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb?
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to spot the burned-out bulb, his supervisor to authorize a requisition, a requisition typist, twelve clerks to file the requisition copies, a mail clerk to deliver the requisition to the purchasing department, a purchasing agent to order the bulb, a clerk to forward the purchasing order, a clerk to mail-order a receiving clerk to receive the bulb....
One to spot the burned-out bulb, his supervisor to authorize a requisition, a requisition typist, twelve clerks to file the requisition copies, a mail clerk to deliver the requisition to the purchasing department, a purchasing agent to order the bulb, a clerk to forward the purchasing order, a clerk to mail-order a receiving clerk to receive the bulb....
How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a light bulb?
(Cue typical indignant Saaaaf London accent) What? Go all the way up there and come back empty? You must be jokin' mate !
(Cue typical indignant Saaaaf London accent) What? Go all the way up there and come back empty? You must be jokin' mate !
How many Dixons store assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
Err. Nahh, it's MEANT to go dark after a few weeks. It's a new fangled addition. It's been developed by, er, (etc...)
Err. Nahh, it's MEANT to go dark after a few weeks. It's a new fangled addition. It's been developed by, er, (etc...)
How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.
Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.
How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that the Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that the Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just define darkness as an industry standard.
None. They just define darkness as an industry standard.