Change a Lightbulb Jokes - Page 13

How many VENTRILOQUISTS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the gulg and one to gold the gottom of the lagger.

How many BUS DRIVERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
You've got to be joking - they won't even change a five-pound note.

How many WAITERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
None. Even a burned-out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

How many FILM DIRECTORS does it take to change a light-bulb?
"I don't care how many it takes, what it costs, or how you do it - JUST GET IT CHANGED, OKAY?!?! !"

How many PESSIMISTS does it take to change a light-bulb?
"What's the point? It'll only blow again."

How many THRILLER WRITERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

How many ROCK AND ROLL SOUND ENGINEERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
"Did you say something?"

How many PUNK ROCKERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to kick the chair out from under him.

How many HAIRDRESSERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to stand around admiringly and say "Fabulous, Gary !'"

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?