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Change A Light Bulb Jokes - Page 4 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
The classic 'change a lightbulb' jokes
This is page 4 of 14. Showing jokes 37 to 48
How many IBM engineers are required to change a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing promote that 'Dead Bulb' as a feature.
None. They just let Marketing promote that 'Dead Bulb' as a feature.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply define darkness as an industry standard.
None. They simply define darkness as an industry standard.
Three people: one won a Pulitzer Prize for exposing that the Electric Company employed a light bulb assassin to damage the bulb in the first place; another reported it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people; and a third reported it as a devious government plot to rob the poorest people of darkness.
How many computer journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to review every light bulb on the market so you can choose which one to buy; two to write a very similar review in a different magazine the following month; three to have a major review appear on glossy paper two months later, by which time it is completely out of date; four to imply in his or her column that a brand-new, updated bulb is on the way; and five to report a rumor that the new bulb is being shipped with a virus.
Five: one to review every light bulb on the market so you can choose which one to buy; two to write a very similar review in a different magazine the following month; three to have a major review appear on glossy paper two months later, by which time it is completely out of date; four to imply in his or her column that a brand-new, updated bulb is on the way; and five to report a rumor that the new bulb is being shipped with a virus.
How many Dixons store assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
Err. Nahh, it's supposed to go dark after a few weeks. It's a new-fangled addition. It's been developed by, er, (etc.)
Err. Nahh, it's supposed to go dark after a few weeks. It's a new-fangled addition. It's been developed by, er, (etc.)
How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a light bulb? (Cue typical indignant Saaaaf London accent.) What? Going all the way up there and coming back empty? You must be joking, mate!
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to spot the burned-out bulb, tell the supervisor to authorize a requisition, a requisition typist to create it, twelve clerks to file copies of the requisition, a mail clerk to forward the requisition to the purchasing department, a purchasing agent to order the bulb, a clerk to forward the purchasing order, a clerk to order it and a receiving clerk to receive the bulb.
One to spot the burned-out bulb, tell the supervisor to authorize a requisition, a requisition typist to create it, twelve clerks to file copies of the requisition, a mail clerk to forward the requisition to the purchasing department, a purchasing agent to order the bulb, a clerk to forward the purchasing order, a clerk to order it and a receiving clerk to receive the bulb.
How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to complete the paperwork.
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to complete the paperwork.
How many city planners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Six - four to write an extensive study that recommends installing a three-way 100/200/250 watt light bulb, one to write an article for the local newspaper praising the study and one to put in a 10-watt bulb instead.
Six - four to write an extensive study that recommends installing a three-way 100/200/250 watt light bulb, one to write an article for the local newspaper praising the study and one to put in a 10-watt bulb instead.
How many council employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven - two to administer the Civil Service examination for the Light Bulb Administrator position, the Commissioner of Public Works, who ends up hiring his brother for the position anyway, one to plow the mayor's driveway, a Summer Youth student to change it, and a Union steward to protest that its the electrician's job to do that.
Seven - two to administer the Civil Service examination for the Light Bulb Administrator position, the Commissioner of Public Works, who ends up hiring his brother for the position anyway, one to plow the mayor's driveway, a Summer Youth student to change it, and a Union steward to protest that its the electrician's job to do that.
How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a light bulb?
Look, for only $87 billion, we can launch a chain of fluorescent satellites and illuminate the entire planet.
Look, for only $87 billion, we can launch a chain of fluorescent satellites and illuminate the entire planet.
How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
One -- plus or minus three (small sample size).
One -- plus or minus three (small sample size).