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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 8


More of our British style of humour

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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What does an oyster do on his birthday?
He shellabrates.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register. He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor.
'I'm sorry,' said the mayor, 'I must have taken Leif off my census.'
Submitted by: George
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What is a water otter?
A kettle.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What government agency is responsible for finding lost vicars?
The Bureau of Missing Parsons.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What is the opposite of woe?
Gee-up!
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
How does a barber cut the moon's hair?
Eclipse it.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were having a rest in their hotel room when suddenly a tree walked in.
"Elm entry, my Dear Watson," said Holmes.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Tourist: Can you tell me the way to Bath please?
Policeman: Well, first you turn on the hot and cold taps then ...
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Last night there was a big fight in our local fish and chip shop - a lot of fish got battered.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
I used to dress off the peg, but now my neighbours take in their washing at night.

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