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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 7


More of our British style of humour

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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Did you hear about the man who entered a pun contest in a newspaper. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win the prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
Fiddler on the hoof.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
Bonnie and Clydesdale.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Doctor, Doctor I've got rotten teeth, bad breath and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Well, that means you're crackers!
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?
He was sacked for making a grave mistake.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Policeman: Why are you driving your car in circles?
Motorist: I was just going for a little spin.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Why did the bus stop?
Because it saw the zebra crossing.

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