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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 5


More of our British style of humour

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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Doctor: So, tell me, what has brought you to this hospital?
Patient: An ambulance.
Submitted by: Stuart
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What famous 60's song did Charles Dickens write?
Oliver Twist.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What does a shark like to eat for lunch?
Fish and ships!
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Why was the dog unable to talk?
The cat got his tongue.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What do you call the people who are made of rubber and stand at the entrance to a nightclub?
Bouncers.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Last night I got into a taxi and said to the driver, 'Robin Hood's Close'.
He said 'Don't worry, I'm sure that I can lose him at the next set of traffic lights'.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Did you hear that the police have put out a warning to house owners about a gang of men who recently failed in their attempt to steal the tiles from the roof of a local house?
The police said they were roofless criminals.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you should never press your luck.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Dave: Did you hear that Fred has got a job at the bowling alley?
Joe: What tenpin?
Dave: No it's a permanent job.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Why is 5 o'clock in the morning a bit like a pigs tail?
Because it's twirly!
Submitted by: VJ

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