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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 4


More of our British style of humour

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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
I work in a library, and today this guy came up to me and said, "Do you have a bookmark?"
I said, "Yes, we have loads of them… But my name is John."
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
I went to a local bank to discuss my finances with the the bank manager, but he suddenly started hitting me and refused to stop, so I asked him to leave me a loan.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
A man went into a local bookshop and asked the woman behind the counter: "Do you keep stationery here?"
"No," she said. "Sometimes I move about a bit."
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Last night a large quantity of sand, cement and gravel were stolen from a local builder's yard.
A police spokesman said they are looking for some concrete evidence to help catch the thieves.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Customer: I'd like a bar of soap please.
Shop Assistant: Would you like it scented?
Customer: No, I want to take it with me now.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What type of socks does a gardener like to wear when he is working?
Garden hose.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Doctor: So, tell me, what has brought you to this hospital?
Patient: An ambulance.
Submitted by: Stuart
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What famous 60's song did Charles Dickens write?
Oliver Twist.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What does a shark like to eat for lunch?
Fish and ships!
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Why was the dog unable to talk?
The cat got his tongue.

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