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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 3


More of our British style of humour

This is page 3 of 20. Showing jokes 21 to 30

British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
The murderer certainly was ruthless when he committed the crime!
How do you know that?
Because Ruth was with me.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Did you hear about the optician who tripped over a dog?
He made quite a spectacle of himself.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What do you call a stolen pork sausage?
The missing link.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Which of King Arthur's knights loved to eat steak?
Sir Loin.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Judge: You are accused of stealing garments from the clothesline of a convent. What do you have to say for yourself?
Defendant: I promise I won't make a habit of it.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of beer?
He came to a bitter end.
Submitted by: Alec
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Where did Dr Jekyll meet his best friend?
In Hyde Park.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
When Henry VIII came to the throne what was the first thing he did?
He sat down.
Submitted by: Sandy
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What is another name for a water otter?
A kettle.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Patient: I've been feeling a little off colour lately.
Doctor: Tell me what you have been eating recently.
Patient: I only eat snooker balls.
Doctor: Snooker balls?
Patient: Yes, I have a blue one for breakfast, a pink and a yellow one lunch, red ones as snacks, and then a black one for dinner.
Doctor: Aha, I see what the problem is - you're not getting enough greens.

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