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British Humour - Page 17 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
More of our British style of humour
This is page 17 of 23. Showing jokes 193 to 204
Every weekend my relatives come round to our house and we make sweaters - you could say that we're a very close knit family.
Bill: I have a hunch.
David: Really? I thought you were just round-shouldered.
David: Really? I thought you were just round-shouldered.
What kind of a guy was Humpty Dumpty?
He was a good egg.
He was a good egg.
Did you hear about the idiot who called both his sons Ed?
He thought two eds were better than one.
He thought two eds were better than one.
Did you hear that last night, a truck containing wigs was stolen?
20 policemen are currently combing the area.
20 policemen are currently combing the area.
What is another name for a butcher's boy?
A chop assistant.
A chop assistant.
Waiter, do you serve asparagus?
No. We don't serve sparrows and my name's not Gus.
No. We don't serve sparrows and my name's not Gus.
Did you hear about the man who was convicted of stealing luggage from the airport?
He asked for twenty other cases to be taken into consideration.
He asked for twenty other cases to be taken into consideration.
A tribal chieftain's daughter was offered as a bride to the son of a neighboring chief in exchange for two cows and four sheep. The deal was to be completed on the shore of the stream that separated the two tribes. The father and his daughter showed up at the appointed time, only to discover that the groom and his livestock were on the other side of the stream. The father grunted, "The fool doesn't know which side his bride is bartered on."
Where do policemen live?
999 Letsby Avenue.
999 Letsby Avenue.
Did you hear about the woman who fell into a washing machine?
She worked herself up into a right lather.
She worked herself up into a right lather.
A man went into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of vegetable soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of liquid right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the waitress over and said, "It's all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked."
The waitress said, "You ordered vegetable soup, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Well maybe it has a leek in it!"
The waitress said, "You ordered vegetable soup, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Well maybe it has a leek in it!"