Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of beer?
He came to a bitter end.
Judge: You are accused of stealing garments from the clothesline of a convent. What do you have to say for yourself?
Defendant: I promise I won't make a habit of it.
Which of King Arthur's knights loved to eat steak?
Sir Loin.
What do you call a stolen pork sausage?
The missing link.
Did you hear about the optician who tripped over a dog?
He made quite a spectacle of himself.
The murderer definitely displayed ruthlessness when he committed the crime!
How do you know that?
Because Ruth was with me.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Tourist: Hello. Do you farm around here?
Cornish Farmer: Aye.
Tourist: Fantastic day isn't it?
Cornish Farmer: Aye.
Tourist: Have you lived here all of your life?
Cornish Farmer: Not yet.
Who wrote Oliver Twist?
How the dickens should I know?
Where do policemen live?
999 Letsbe Avenue.
Irish stew in the name of the law.
What is at the back of a bee?
It's bee-hind.