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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 14


More of our British style of humour

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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
An English tourist is on holiday in a Cornish village when he spots what is obviously the village idiot sitting next to the horse trough. In his hand is an old stick, and tied to the end is a piece of string which is dangling in the water. The tourist decides to humour the fellow and asks: "Have you caught anything yet?" The village idiot looks up and studies the stranger, before saying: "Aye, you be the seventh today."
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Guy Fawkes was the sanest man who ever went into the Houses of Parliament - and look what happened to him.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Brian: What kind of dog is that?
Terry: A police dog.
Brian: Are you sure, it doesn't look much like a police dog.
Terry: That's because it's a plain-clothes police dog.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Teacher: Where was Magna Carta signed?
Pupil: At the bottom.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Boy: Sir, I'd like your daughter for my wife.
Father: Can't she get one of her own?
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What's the wife of a hippie called?
Mississippi.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
A woman woke her husband one night and said, 'There's a burglar in the kitchen eating my home-made steak and kidney pie!'
'Oh dear: said her husband. 'Who shall I call, police or ambulance?'
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
MAN ON PHONE: "How long does it take to fly to Hong Kong?"
TRAVEL AGENT: "Just a minute, sir. . ."
MAN ON PHONE: "Thanks very much".

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