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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 14


More of our British style of humour

This is page 14 of 20. Showing jokes 131 to 140

British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Brian: What kind of dog is that?
Terry: A police dog.
Brian: Are you sure, it doesn't look much like a police dog.
Terry: That's because it's a plain-clothes police dog.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Teacher: Where was Magna Carta signed?
Pupil: At the bottom.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Boy: Sir, I'd like your daughter for my wife.
Father: Can't she get one of her own?
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
What's the wife of a hippie called?
Mississippi.
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
A woman woke her husband one night and said, 'There's a burglar in the kitchen eating my home-made steak and kidney pie!'
'Oh dear: said her husband. 'Who shall I call, police or ambulance?'
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
MAN ON PHONE: "How long does it take to fly to Hong Kong?"
TRAVEL AGENT: "Just a minute, sir. . ."
MAN ON PHONE: "Thanks very much".
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
A couple of hikers were tramping through the countryside and had lost their way, so by the time they arrived at the "George and Dragon", the village pub where they'd arranged to stay the night, the doors were locked and the owners had gone to bed. They knocked timidly on the front door.
A head appeared at an upstairs window and shouted, 'Go away. Don't you know what time it is? We're closed,' and the the window slammed shut.
Undeterred, the hikers knocked again. 'What is it now?' demanded the head.
'Could we speak to George this time please?' asked on the the hikers.
Submitted by: Alan Scotland
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Hotel Guest: 'Can you give me a room and a bath, please?'
Receptionist: 'I can give you a room, but you'll have to take your own bath.'
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
Mary was telling her friends about her new apartment. "It's fantastic," she said, "I can lie in bed and watch the sun rise."
"So what," replied her friend Joan, "in my apartment, I can sit on a chair and watch the kitchen sink."
British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories
An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are running down the street away from the police as they had just robbed a bank. They look for somewhere to hide and find some bags. the Englishman jumps into the bag named 'cats', the Scotsman jumps into a bag named 'dogs' and the Irishman jumps into the bag named 'potatoes'. The police find the bags and kick the one named cats, the englishman says 'meow'. the Scotsman gets kicked and says 'woof'. The Irishman gets kicked and says 'potatoes'!
Submitted by: Hot_brody

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