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British Humour - Page 13 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
More of our British style of humour
This is page 13 of 23. Showing jokes 145 to 156
Did you hear about the idiot who thought Hamlet was an omelet served with bacon?
Fred goes into a hotel and says to the receptionist, 'I'd like a room, please.'
Receptionist: 'Single, Sir?'
Fred: 'Yes, but I am engaged.'
Receptionist: 'Single, Sir?'
Fred: 'Yes, but I am engaged.'
Why did King Arthur have a round table?
So no one could corner him.
So no one could corner him.
My sister fell in love with a famous cricket player.
She was completely bowled over by him.
She was completely bowled over by him.
Why is 5 o'clock in the morning a bit like a pig's tail?
Because it's twirly!
Because it's twirly!
Dave: Did you hear that Fred has got a job at the bowling alley?
Joe: What tenpin?
Dave: No, it's a permanent job.
Joe: What tenpin?
Dave: No, it's a permanent job.
Why is it a bad idea to iron a four-leaf clover?
Because you should never press your luck.
Because you should never press your luck.
Did you hear that the police have put out a warning to house owners about a gang of men who recently failed in their attempt to steal the tiles from the roof of a local house?
The police said they were roofless criminals.
The police said they were roofless criminals.
Last night, I got into a taxi and said to the driver, 'Robin Hood's Close.'
He said, 'Don't worry, I'm sure that I can lose him at the next set of traffic lights.'
He said, 'Don't worry, I'm sure that I can lose him at the next set of traffic lights.'
What do you call the people who are made of rubber and stand at the entrance to a nightclub?
Bouncers.
Bouncers.
Why was the dog unable to talk?
The cat got his tongue.
The cat got his tongue.
What does a shark like to eat for lunch?
Fish and ships!
Fish and ships!