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British Humour - Page 11 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
More of our British style of humour
This is page 11 of 22. Showing jokes 121 to 132
Policeman: Why are you driving your car in circles?
Motorist: I was just going for a little spin.
Motorist: I was just going for a little spin.
Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?
He was sacked for making a grave mistake.
He was sacked for making a grave mistake.
Doctor Doctor, I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Well, that means you're crackers!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Well, that means you're crackers!
Doctor, Doctor, I've got rotten teeth, bad breath, and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken-down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.
Stop beating a dead hearse.
Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
Bonnie and Clydesdale.
Bonnie and Clydesdale.
What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
Fiddler on the Hoof.
Fiddler on the Hoof.
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
Did you hear about the man who entered a pun contest in a newspaper? He sent in ten different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win the prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Why did the bees go on strike?
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
What would you get if you crossed a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
A snake in the brass.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
A civil serpent.